Here I am, back at my blog for the first Sunday in, well, I really have no idea. It´s been a long time though, probably more than a year.
Yesterday I set out my new painting, and then stopped at that point. I was worrying about my online work for this coming week. Worrying that I would not have enough hours. The strange thing is that the worrying took on a weight and shape in exactly the same way a thing would. It somehow managed to trans-morph itself from a verb to a noun. And it took on enough mass that it managed to fill my day, leaving no room for very much else at all.
Now, this morning I can see that this happened because I allowed it to happen; for some reason, not thought about at all yesterday, it suited me to have a big blob of worry sitting between me and being able to do anything. It´s taken a night´s rest and a good breakfast, but I’ve worked out what the reason was: Yesterday, as I’ve said, I set out my new painting….and this is always a difficult time for me, so my ego stepped in to “help”. It did this by sniffing around for something to come along and be so large that I could walk away from my painting with a clear conscience; I didn’t want to leave my work , I had to leave it. I had something to Worry About. Pfffftt……….
Well, I am one day older if not wiser this morning, and I´m not falling for one of my ego’s top favorite tricks today. I´m going to get on with my painting, and I will be working at not giving thought to how many hours online work I will have this coming week. Today, I am back at the helm, and the noun is being changed back into a verb, and a pretty inconsequential one at that.
Hope you all have just the sort of Sunday you would want.